Empty...

I do not know what i am feeling today...when i woke up in the morning, all bad feeling was coming...

Empty, anger, suck, hate, wanna cry but my head told me why i have to cry...

It is feel like my chest gonna blow up...
Like a balloon which boom sudently.

Feel like child who did not give the fav. Toy from her parents...

Feel empty with lilbit ache...not guilty but it is the real empty...

Think and also though with my mind...why it is just happen and come into me...

Is it generally because something, or is about something....

Think again...where I am going...
What i am going to do...
And my tear come suddenly...

Is it really what i wanna...
Is it really what i have to do...
But the answer always same...yes this is all i have to do...

My heart going trumbling...no passing on beat...no power on it...it just an empty...just empty...

What i am need now?
Need a shoulder to lay down my head...
Need hand to give support to me...
Need someone who said to me, if everything is going okay... just believe with it...

And now i just need home...

The Tricky of Life

keep staring to the future, no mater what happened in the past.
 3rd August 2016, i put the resign letter on the desk. no regret, no doubt. i have a dream, i have passion and i realize if i have some duty. i just keep all of it step in balance..

after 5 years, when Allah gave me a good position, some good project for a better carrier on my job. And i took for leave it.

people asked me why, but i just said i believe in something, i have not knew yet. crazy...ya..maybe yes...because I jump when everything is going better in my way...but my heart said, i have to jump..not suicide jump..but jump with sincerely only hold to Allah hand...

leave something when I got almost everything....

so what will i do after this, on September??? still no planing...laugh...but yeah i just give all my life to Allah...

have nothing but feel anything...i tried to let all go..still try..not easy but i have to..because i believe Allah have plan a better future for me and my life...

bismillah..Allah I believe in You...

fellow...i did not think anymore...

i have to be focus because i have book which waiting me to done...i have a big  dream to reach not only confusing but need to be fighting to reach...

start from the End and start for zero to build a new great life...