enjoy the live like enjoy the show

almoost we feel happy and sad in the same time, if you asked that is life... life is choice, and Allah give us some path way to choose... thats life... like melow drama if you watched that and you cried when you saw that means your life have same story with that scenaryo...thats life sometime when we made a plan for own life we almost found the branch of the way...thats means we have to choose gentlely which one is the right one...thats life... when we had a strong to choose the best one, remember to collage the energy coz in next step we will meet the highst wall to clim, the largest place to accros, the high way to finish...thats life... but when you arrived in the spot which you wanna stay, just stay and build the new one plan to continue your life in the best part... life never suffer you, but you made it suffer...coz you never enjoy the life like enjoy the show... made aplan, carefull with the line, never cross the bad way, still clear thinking and also wise, be a good self, spreading smile, spreading happiness, choose the right one which you need to reach, create the dreams with anthuastic and spirit, never complaining you will have the best quality of life.... this is the life which Allah give to me, send me good people who inspiring me, help me, teach me... give the wrong person not to distroy me but to make me strong, wise, and grow up... life is not easy but we have to enjoy in every single time like a friendship it is fragile but it happen coz fate so just thinking wise and enjoy the live like enjoy the show

whats a wonderful life hehhehhe.... if people asking me " if you could be reborn, u would choice be who?" my answer taraaaammmmmm i wish born or reborn to be ME... :) i have Allah who always love me coz Allah always give me time to learn more and more.... i have parents who always support me i have sister who always smile and play also learn together... i have friend, the best friend who always remember me in every single path of life people trust me and they enjoy to share sad or happy story to me have smile to share and spared happiness have time to self improvement i enjoy to be me.... bismillah ya Allah, when i remember all the things was happening on me, i smile cos i realized why i have been crying or smiling or mad actually. but after all i smile and i give the biggest smile cos i was idiot if i feel sorry from all the thing was happening on me... love to be me...and i really pleasure about all the things happen.... listen friend story when she falling in love with my friend-actualy some one who i was adore (but now i know the reason why i was adoring him_hahah and i laugh) hope she will get string with him, i realize if she will make him better than before and also she can be happy with him...i just waiting the next invitation, wedding invitation. i will happy when my friend happy.... HIDUP ITU UNTUK DINIKMATI DAN DIMANFAATKAN DENGAN SEBAIK BAIKNYA..........BERBUAT BAIK SEBANYAK-BANYAKNYA BUAT MANFAAT SEBANYAK MUNGKIN SEBARKAN SENYUM SEBANYAK-BANYAKNYA UNTUK MENYEBARKAN KEBAHAGIAAN :) HIDUP UNTUK BERGUNA BAGI SEBANYAK-BANYAK SESAMA :) FRIEND WITH PEOPLE UNDER 10TH YEARS OLD TO KEEP YOUR CREATIVITY AND SINCERE.. AND ALSO FRIEND WITH UPPER 50TH YEARS OLD TO BE WISE PERSON :)

11-11-2011 the best lesson in my life which i had ever been forgotten be a stakeout make trouble hari yang penuh pelajaran banget..nemuin mahasiswa ngope sampe di labrak ama 17 orang minta keringanan cuma gara2 mereka ibu2 merenung apakah saya yang arogan???? apa aku yg ga bisa menempatkan diri????// wanna share and write everything but my mind was stuck... bobroknya pendidikan di indonesia...jadi pengen sekolah adn bekerja di LN ajah....pengen tau ja apa cuma di negara ini yg ga bisa nerima kekokohan prinsip..

people create a dream and trying to make all come true...that's what happen wid my too. i trying to reach my dream and transform that into reality... almost leave my 24 years and soon as possible 25 will come... people around me always asking about plan for marry, but i always due if some day Allah will give me someone who match and understand me totally. i just need to be patience keep doing self improvement, planning the good way for life, enjoy every single part of life, never griper coz Allah will always give the best to us... Allah have a good choice to us even we think if something which is the best in our vision but remember Allah always know the good one... like today, i got an accident hehehe stupid accident i guest...when i would set the chair shift from back of me, but i didn't realize that so i felt down..ugh its hurt :( my ass kiss the floor hiks... but i embarrassed and i up again... but hehe its hurt really.. hemmm still love my life even shame thing happen but that's my life... wish next years i will get my soul match who i adore and he adore to me too...life is not easy but its still good... so dont waste your time and always doing something good in every single time.... love my self and also all around me... love my self, my way, my life, my friend, my family, my faith of, love Allah, love all..love blue...and i will always...

hemmmmm....long time not write... hellow blueeee... hemmmmm aku ini aneh ga sih ko orang2 baru kenal, atu biasanya ga deket tiba2 keep touching eh tau-tau dia udah bisa terbuka tentang banyak2 hal ama aku.... ngedengerin curhatan seseorang yang suka ama seseorang yg pernah deket aneh juga ya hahahah even i didnt have feeling anymore hihih tp tetep ajah aneh you say good morning and its will be nice hahahhaha--jet lag..i miss u sooo bad... bingung awalnya choose to go to Malang or stay in here, but finaly i choose to stay here...piuh...life isnt easy but its quite worth to struggle hemm... alot of feeling, things happen and i want to share but i dont have enough time to share my blue... keep give me strong to face all and love u coz Allah....may we meet as soon as possible :) anna ukhibukifillah my darl :)

hemmm my life is my adventure... create a new target, focus in the new priority and better trying to be best in every single time... love is only the feeling which every people have but in this we haven't choice but love will choose :) blue rose is blue me pretty good of my life.. blue rose is blue thinking pretty good in live... blue rose is blue experience pretty good in deep blue rose is pretty good on me...

finally blue rose

Spent my holiday in bandung, visited my frend, my family, full my promissed to them...

Took pict, make my self comfort...

And 6 sept I found blue rose even that only white rose which gave the blue color from paint which give by osmosis proses/capilarization...

But that make me optimist if blue rose is not a dream..
But blue rose is part of my dreams which I will make come true...

I leave a rose in bandung and I back to pamulang wid blur feeling, but don't know why...

BLU3 R0S35... Love it and always love it... Its philoshop which I take in my life...
Be a blue rose which people always looking for coz its beautyful, but it need struggle to get, mysterious, but amaze if you get it...its grow like wild plant but its expensive...hard to reach but if you could reach it you will be satisfy.

Love to be blue rose...

Come on darl be focus okey...

Love my self...Allah please guide me always :)

black rose

Ya Allah, in the morning when I was walking by my self to office, my phncell rang.. Someone who I knew as a mother of my student Karina, is crying she sai something which I can't get cleary the means.. She said 'dia meminta pulang ke tempat dimana dia dulu dilahirkan' I just though what happen? Is something bad accure?

And when I arriing in office I told to my frend about that, and not took alonger time, mr. Ridwan arrived and gave us bad news, karina was rest foever.

Innalillahiwainnalillahirojiun, that's word we said...

Call my studen and gave the news to them... Not panic but I just think about her mother, I'm really sure if she will get wound.

Waitedcomfirm from foundation about which what we will go to hospital, but haven't got that.
So I decided to go by bike wid mrs. Endah..

Long trip really, its about 1hr to arrive in hospital, but karina body was taking to home, we didn't know the address but we said bismillah and went there wid little info, and also my student

2hr after that we arrived, her mom looked so sad, we give support but that's denial vase...
After shalat jenazah, we continue our trip to the next hospital, where other student have been curing.

After all bussiness done ack to pamulang

Subhanallah hot and that my self dry and dehidrate

Ya Allah take her to the best place where U prepare for her.. Friday is the best day, Ramadhan is the best month, wish all amalan n iman islam from her U accepted..
Amiin..
'Adinda karina sari putri, we love u darl...thanks to be part of our life...u teach me a lot, and wish Allah give the best place for u...rest in peace honey...u will always life in our life...even ijust knoww u in shot time, but u give me a lot means...wish Allah forgive all fall thinks. Have been done amiin '
12 ramadhan-12 august 2011 for the rest u in peace..Allah hafidz

dreams blue dreams

Sunbhanallah thanks Allah you give me hit to make me up... When I wake up I realize if I have been wasted my time-almost one years..maybe this is recovery time for all the think happen in my life..but I was trap in safety zone...where everyting going flat, not dreams not target, no power no challance piuh this not good...

When I got news if my friend Andriana get scholarship to taiwan and will go in the begining of september my heart going absured...

my intuisy and imagination fly and remembering all my dreams which has been blur for the time...

I have to catch all my dreams... Going abroad became magister of midwifery bismillah believe net years I will go for study on postgrad...

Manjadda wajadda...if we believ, and we work hard to close the dreams and Allah give permit and ridho to me, next years I will go to Australia or Holand coz that is place where the midwifery education more growup...


Ceumangaaaddd by...
Almost a years I'm was walking on place and never step just feeling something imajiner...love is not about everything...and now the most importan is to continue my study...come on by become magister of midwife in 2013,,,so u have to get scholar in next years...

Nothin possible if you think possible but it would be impossible if you think like that...

Just waiting me okay....


Holand...Hoiy hoiy hoiy :)

blau.blau..blau

Hemmmm...da lama ya g nulis di blog...pengen pake bahasa indonesia ah kali-kali...

Waw banyak banget hal terjadi alley :)
Pulang kebandung terus jalan ama sinta wuih banyak banget hal yg buat aku ter wah wah heheh dlm segaa hal..tentang dirinya, diri dia dan diri2 yang lain...

Hem make dcision tp yg skrg harus konsisten :)...
Ternyata pas aku baca2 lagi alley ternyata aku udah pernah bilang mundur dan aku g konsisten hahahha parahnya aku ckkckc...

Alley...aku nemuin sosok yg banyak kesamaannya ama aku...
Nampak dia tipe koleris juga...
Suka diskusi, pokoknya nyaman c bbman ama dia, tp jiper alley...hemmm ya gitu d dia kan MR, hapalan hadisnya banyak, hapalan alquran banyak, dewasa heheh...nemuin diri aku didirinya

Tp jiper hehhe, apapun itu yg jelas wish d best d kalo emang dia terbaik Allah akan mendektkan aku dengannya dgn cara yg baik, namun jika bukan pasti ada yg lain yg jauh lebih baik :)

bandung oh bandung

29 july 2011

After my long time at pamulang, finally I get my holiday even just 4 days but its quite long for me...hemmm finally I'm home...

Feel home sick not, but I feel my self tired wid habit...I need something out from routinity...I wanna my life back...my life which full of surpresed, unpredictable, something new...

I have to make my self out from rutinity...

Kang adi tomorrow will watch HP, and I he asked me if I want to watch to, may be we could watche together, he will go wid his frend-some...


Hemmm I would like to tell you about my ourney to bandung today...

From office I went togeterwid my frend..took conversation about everythg...
Finally i'm on my bus by my self...set in the empty seat...
But it full and someone sit beside me...tired so I slept...
The road still same...crowded widout traffic jam...
Cipularang stil long road...
The bus full fill the gas in the same gas station, but its fnny coz one of the passanger is out from bus and we have to wait puih hehe...

The day is going dark even is 06.25pm...I can't see the road cleary..but I'm happy...

Ow my god..I don't know why I feel like I wanna vomitte...not like usual, I feel got sick..ehhh what happen.. Wanna sleep but can't..hope I'll find...
Hate my acne its make me unconfort uuuh..m.
Okey have nice holiday :)

make all blue

Weird..when I said I wouldn't that's means I don't wanna...

But when he asked don't dreams and I said yes I don't wanna to in fact I dreams him...'Haduuu'

The place was take in my old elementary school..met my HS friend and played volly buti'm not good in that..and I choose to play basket ball...but my friend-gals..can't play that game, so I play wid other friend-alif, gungun,agung,and him..their in same team, and I play wid amy, and atika

Like usual I play consistently, rebound ,and drible...but no point I can't make...the man team, always take ball from my team, their take the ball wid smoth way hem sportif way...
And finally I was wrong to make a point wid shoot the ball to my basket piuh...coz I played alone my team was back up, they said its hot day hemmm...

After played I don't now eactly what was doing...but I just believe if I still ollow some one huh I hate this..

And when the sun was strong to bright.. We all stay in hall...and in there just me and my friend, and him, ridwan,alif, gungun,adit,agung and several who I didn't exactly know...

I said if ridwan is a good man,-for what reason? I don't know!..I said to all people in hall-at the beggining I don't realize if ridwan there. So I can told all about ridwan honestly... He good man, never hurt women, nice, smart,patience act..and I asked their, is is he in here? And I really surprise coz ridwan in here, litle ambras but I just said the real think...after that he shake my hand and say thanks..hemm really weird haha..

After that, I don't know exactly what I was talking wid him...I just remember if I said, he is good and he have good mark in univ-weird again hehhe...

And I woke up..

One thing after that..all make me feel blue, don't know why...but I rare dreams something weird but its weird...and when I said I wouldn't dream him, why he come to my dream huh...

Wish I'll get other interest dreams, dreams who make me smile when I woke up in other day...

To day, kang adi write stts self improvement and I said yaps cumangad and he said cumangaaaaaddd juga bayu'...

Hahah he and me is the same character..I think he coleric like me,hem so why we always enjoy when we bbm coz we have a lot of idea, mind..
U too nice and good to me kang, but u are the figur of leader who every women want to be convenience her as a friend forever :)... I justwait and see...still waiting someone the best for me, I believe Allah will make us together when the time is right..mcoz it would be a beautifull part of life...I just do my best and always make self improvement...

Ceumangaddddd bayuuuuuuuu ceumangaaaaddd all my friendsssm....ceumangaddd my best friend who I haven't met you yet ;)

blue skyline

Tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok...
I almost grazy...coz what reason I don't know...

Tik tok tik tok tik tok
Ya Allah...drive my self grazy grazy coz what? And still don't know...

Think though though and think hemmm think about what still don't know...

My heart what happen to u...I don't know
My mind what is going on with you still lost control...

Tik tok tik tok tik tok
Like shakespear in love...confuse about whats I don't know...lost about somethg I even know...

Find something match but its feel nothing...finding something different but its don't means anything...

Tik tok tik tok tik tok
How prosaic I'm how phatetic I'm...like wind hollow and laugh of me...

Need something changing and new athmosfer to create new life story...

Need brave to do somthg grazy...need time to take my adrenalin out...need challange..

Tik tok tik to tik tok...
Humble..not easy..patience not easy...

Oooh how grazy I'm please help me...I'm going explode...help please...

Imagine if I fly up to the sky and lay down in the cloud, starring on the earth and starring on u...

Imagine bring back the sun shine and make you warm...

I'm going grazy and going eplode...please need pappermint blue..I need blue..;just it could make me calm...

Sky, ocean, ow hold me to out of grazy

fuzzy Blue lights

Hemm..mizz my friend badly...need to meet them...-ayu..adit..alif..fuji..gungun..miss quotes from alif...dry joke from adit...story from ayu and fuji...gun I need u help for upgrade and also reinstall my handset hehhe...

U know about someone who I was write before?who always call my name by yu'?(Only family who call me like that :)), hemm I think he sereous person but in fact not...he can't joke even dry but we have the same mind, hobby, perspective.
We always discuse about many thing..politic, tarbiyah,harry potter, Gp,F1,football, even make food by kurma-and that make me laugh tonight...
He look calm but not,smart yes, soleh but gaul hahha...
For now, he always give positive energy and mind to me...if I have touble he give his hand..like the several day before...he gave me perpective if all happen to me is the way to be good person, and he always do..and I will do...
I don't know why Allah make me met again after 5 years ago...but I relize if he give positive energy...thanks Nugroho Adinegoro :) to be my frend who always rememmbering me if I need and always there when I need some barrier...

Yesterday he called me...he said if he was readding my blog..hahha feel asamed yaps but hehe that's just a part of me hehe..I alwys honest wid my feeling...even u read this...I never chance to write... :)

I read what I was writing hemm heheh fnny and also so phatetic hiii...but I have to recovery..like I always said..its not me...I have lost from my way even just littel but it would make big on my story life...

I ave to be optimist again, look evertg wid simple way, proaktik not reactive, creative,improve my knowledge, finding and get my sholarship...

Allah I knew why u give this way for me :)...even everytg just fuzzy blue lights but its seems clear step by step..

And I always believe if no one, no body is meet me and happening to me without Your plan...its perfect plan and I can feel it...:)

I have to open my eyes my mind widely...to see all the think wid the best way..and done everything perfectly...

I can manage my heart now...if You never took me on the fuzzy lights may be I never be grow wid this problem, may be I couldn't feel what I felt this year... Even I just Your creatur whose have to learn learn learn and learn...

My heart still beat but the beat is different...got something missing but I don't care about that's, or I trying not to care...

Life is have a lot of way, a lot of perspective so I have to see all wide...

Let see what is Allah plan to me...

Ganbatte kudasai bayu..

kebun raya bogor

Hemmm I have to write this
17 july 2011
Trip to kebun raya bogor, on my own way...

Without map, just direction from my friend...

Take my backpack, fill water, and snack...

Hemm...just lucky I'm even didn't know the right transportation, but I met good driver, so he saw me all and I didn't lost...

On the bus...said if I have to kebun raya...still confuse if lost, but the navigator said 'here is kebun raya, just across the way and in by that way...becareful'he said wow whose nice he is...

Hem traveling and walking around in kebun raya..captered and saw all plant...

Buy food and ate alone hehe, people was starring but who care...

Several people offering help to take the photo,and I take that just once after that I take all by my self....

Satisfy wid the plant and the view wow...
Rain come and I just slow walked and felt every single water...

Saw "istana bogor" take picture and go home wid different way...hemmm nice traveling..

Next month I will go to kubah emas masque...insya4wi..

Thanks kang adi, u give me a lot of information and also spirit...:)...

Thanks to convenience my journey :)...

(Even write in late date but I have to write to rememmebring all, even not in detile :) )

blue journey

Baduy-kanekes village 23-24 july 2011...

Finally the day was coming. At 7.00am 23july I took my backpack and face the day to begun my journey.
Like I have been thinking..some problem will onset.before we got our ride...several student haven't pay yet, so some student didn't get food...and also the coach..little anger in the beging of day but I could handle that...
We went there by a bus, the big bus...2 bus on way..its about 5 hour on way piuh...long road...the road is bad, the big hole always make the driver hard to drive, bt alhamd evertng in good...

Arrived at kanekes on 13.xx
We got coach from JARO-like ahead of village about what are we may doing or not..after that we have to continue our trip by foot to cross the hill and mountain to arrive in GAZEBO_the 2nd village og outside baduy.
The track is challangeng, rocky,slip,high,nothing to hold, its about 3KM but I think its more...we walked about 1,5 hour.
After arrive we part on team which we will sleep together in every house.-the house is made by wood,"panggung",the dry coconut leaf.after that I take care my student who sick in there piuh :D..
@6.00pm, I decide to took abath, where? In the river...the water is good, clean and the stream isn't hard enought..no lamp, no electricity so no signl, no HP, no TV no no lighting, just the moon...we take a bath there...swimming and played in water...
After dinner, and pray we slept at 8.00 a clock wow early night :)...one of my student cry because no mattres. For sleep so he can't slept piuh :D but finally I give her analgetica and she slept...at 3.00am my student woke me up, coz she have to pup! Ow my god.other my frend scare coz its dark, so I must to convenience her...dark, but the air is clean n cool brbrbb...

@8.00am, 24 july 2011
We begun journey to 'kampung baduy dalam'
Wow amazing the track is awful hahah...more hard, more rocky, more high, more slitc, but the view is worthed... Hemm...
We trought the 'jalan setapak', 'tanjakan cinta' which have the high about 80 degree we climb without help of the tool...
Ate durian which my student got-its fallen from the tree. Wow amaze the taste is sweet and hemm :-bd...
Walked and chit chat more wid my student...
After we clim about 3 hour we arrived in baduy dalam, ate durian again hemmmm... And break for a moment, and then listen Jaro to explan about baduy...
@1.00pm, we back to GAZEBO...the same way also the same track hemmm but when we across tanjakan cinta, we have to use rofe..2 student got injure in feet so I have to convenience them so the trip become long...
Arrive @ gazebo at 4.00pm, pray, packing and continue to kanekes for back to pamulang..
Its about 1,5 hour to back to kanekes, someg happen but I didn't care intensifly coz I was tried...pray magrib-even my clothes dirty coz I have fall down in the slip way...
Ate and then back to pamulang...

Wow long trip, I chit chat with the navigator of bus, about everythg,got kram on my feet, got move sit to solve that,,,the navigator give me paper to sit, and when I down from the bust to buy water, the paper is still hang on my pant ow my god, and I didn't relize it, people staring on me and they laugh huh :(..but I to tired to respond that, so I just let them laugh, and said why u didn't ask me? To te navigator-he said I wish I could, but u run to the market so I could ruin that..hem that's ok its good coz people laugh coz of that..that ok :)..
The driver choose alternative road even more far, but it isn't crowded..several time our bus almost crush but alhamd the driver its good enough, even he old I think :)..
But the way is bad and its make the tire damage piuh...so it have to chance..
Coz that we arrived in pamulang on 1.45am...
I was tried so I regarding to my friend and took my back home..
Arrived in my kost on 02.02..up date my status...took a bath...got my body "salon pas"kos its feel bad,,,after that's sms a bobby an said if I need him to wake me up for sbuh...and then I slept...

Hemm long journey but its whorted..even my body sick now but I have different adventuring, different experience, and more...

Thanks my lil sister sifa..even u just 7th years old but u great gals..u could climb the mount, u strong even u lil :).._u will be a great women I believe that...

Its my 2nd journey to baduy..my first is on 8 years ago...nothing chance extremitly...just several part but still love visit baduy...

Thanks 4wi for the chance.. :)
Blue always blue...and I have to be stronge in every part of life...

bluer and blue

last night he called me and we took conversation about 2hours, hemm long called
we talked about my problem which i was got in Monday, share about many things...
and my heart going blue again ow my God its could be happen i have to forget him...

i wanna understand him bout in other side he could be reach with my attention...
so i could be understand what will i do with this..

hemmmm... the flow going flood the sky going cloud the wind going blow....

what can i do, i don't understand what would i do...

please Allah give me answer, the right one...

when he called me, my heart going blushing, and after got his calling, everithing going lost..i feel lost my self ooooqwwwww please help me....

he said if he is chooser, when he talked about women, and also his mom is cruel, anger people...

please Allah help me.......

blue is blue and always blue

the sad of dark blue

Idont know what was happening today...but I just know one think all happend coz of me and all happen is wrong...
My mind going explod coz I have a lot of things to thinks... I don't know if my decision to go to the work is the wrong coiche..if that's fault I don't know what is the problem wid this...

Some people ungred wid me coz eerything is missunderstanding...
And she angred again like in batam, coz I went to office and she didn't but whats wrong wid that..is it my fault?...huh I really stuck here and I need to go from hee...but I think 4wi gie that's to me to make me brave and wise...

Mistake and all I have to do is mistake...if u asked why I don't know why...

I really think If I didn't make a mistake why I have to be sorry...

I really hate all happend...

Someone was make me little calmdown but I don't know exactly I have to do...

Every people think if I wrong...but they don't know what's my poblem is...

Ya 4wi just U and only U who make scenaryo for me..so just give me the best way and best choice to me...

I know is lie never simple but please 4wi give me the best way in all happening here...I' really stuck and I need to be out...

Adit...thanks, u are the first who give respond in my situation, thanks aa u the scnd people to make me smile...

Just thinking if I have a good friend even I never be good for them...

In the late of night, when my head is sick...my tears still fall and its wouldn't to stop...I don't know what's chaos was want to me...but I just believe one think maybe everytg never be the same and I just being the same...

Need some one to understand but I earn that no one could be understan except my own self...

blue adventure

sunday morning, 26 juni 2011
traveled by my self to TMII...wow that was wonderful journey, because i got extraordinary experience... looked the history of 2nd President-Soeharto. the appreciation which he was get and alot of things they have...
got kiss from pretty women...even she old but she have charisma...love it

knew about traditional house of indonesia islands...

introduced by lecture of SMK in Lampung, he is from Bali his name is Mr. Ketut adn his Son name is Krisna...

nice time, nice moment nice trip, even i have been lost for a while...heheh i lost the way and arrived in Depok, but over all i love it... thanks Allah fot the opportunity :)

blue rose isn't a dreams

hem my life is my live...

i have make a choice...to let him go and moving on in our own way...
maybe he isn't the best for me but i realize if Allah is preparing me something the best in the future and i believe that...

i have to arrange my list of dreams...
i have to create my own way to reach my own dreams with my own idea...

he not the best for me so i have to waitg and lookig for the best one....

love isnt make our self damage but love is building sometg best...

so gogogo girls... u the best in your own self...
u the best so always do the best...

vanilla ice cream on the meteor shower

hem...recycle bin... i love to being that...coz i love when my friend told their problem...
when they told the story to me wow its amaze... hehehe...
its seem like i eat a cup of vanilla and chocolate ice cream on the meteor shower hahaha...

if people ask me is you independent women hem a lot of people said if i'm independent hehehehe...
i just try to be me

meteor shower in the blue sky

hem...just feeling empty don't know exactly what is going on...
my cell phone is damage...can't contact people who love, can't sharing information wid other he,... but i still pleasure i believe if it the best for me...

i know exactly now, if Allah is love me..all happen on me is miracle...Allah dont want me hurt coz something coz of that Allah give me the best way to let something go...

i still hope if i could get my job at UNIBRAW...wish...perhaps after syawal i'll go to Malang hope :)....

have alot plan to do..

about my feeling hemm just waiting for some one who will find me...wid smile

wanna write but dont know what would i write..hemmm just think

the blue oceans

For several days I was lost... Like I never know who iam,,, every single time just let as I know as no plan...and that's was suck...
The main is because somethg biggers are handle control of mine....
But after I met friend, my min is open...and I got some bright in my head...I found my self again...

Like I was sailing in the wide ocean, no one convenience but I get one to control my self...

Hem...blue ocean..I always love it...but I still think if I have to aware coz someting in the deep is staring on me...

Alhamdulillah,,, I can get control my self again, even not at all but its half of part of me is bigan to drive...

Relize if love only love, but the true love never make us oing somentg worst or make self worst...if that make all happen worst, that's means the love is wrong...and that's call isn't love...

I have to make a plan nop asleep but plan to make all dreams comein up...

I have to rearrange my plan...and make tha back up...

I have back to my way...coz for almost amonth I got out o my line...lost direction and not found all I need

Love is immportan but it not the most...coz people arround me give enough love for me...

I just wanna be my...if some one couldn't accept me like as I'm...I think just smile to him and say bye...maybe i'm not the best as u searching for...I'm not the best one for u...and also u not the best for me...just walk away on your road and never accros to my way coz we have different path of destination...which I never know what's u wanna be and what's u wanna rich...

I know exactly what's I want to, and wanna be...and I'll get the best friend of my life wo alwyas make me safe when I try to reach my dreams... Coz he have a dreams to cath to...

So today I have to smile...just give ordinary care and altitde...

Back to reality,,,write a new story...never will the fate...coz u never know what will happen...

Smile...bismillah...stay blue with the rose u want to get...with the blue sky which u wanna staring...with the blue ocean which u wanna sailing...with the blue see which u wanna swimming...with the blue heart which u have to along in mind...

Staring wide in the midle of the night...not to make u desperate but also make u feel optimist to do some thing, to get a lot things...
•\¤_¤/*...

vanilla twilight

that's life sometime we feel happy like no world beneath the feet, but on the other time its feel sad and confuse like heavy dust of space fall in the body....

people could deny if their feel love but the heart never lie...it would be say if their is falling in love...

i know exactly if love could make us sad if that true love...but sometime love is blind it could be make some one lost and doing unpredictable tings...

i like to being love i love to being like someone...but really i don't want to be confuse and feeling guilty with this feeling....

sometimes i wanna let all go..but on the other part of my self tell if it worth to be fight... so what can i do...

it make me suck but it make me happy...it make me guilty but it make me comfort to do...

please help me,...i think i got a thousand pink in my life...
if i could choice something,,,, may i erase all and never meet him...

is it mistake to meeting here or it is blessing....
i don't know exactly....

Ya Allah please2....just take me to the right way please....


WHEN THE BLUE BECAME BLUE BUT ITS BECOME DARK IN BLUE....I LOVE BLUE AND ALWAYS LOVE LIKE I LOVE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU....

hem... its the other side of live

hemmm.. is it live...
when we have something make our self down...look around...hey a lot of things will teach u alot and also make some energy for our life...

lope to be a lecture cos i can learn from my student....
like today i got experience if life have to fight... for a better life,,,

when my heart let all gone

that is love...
when i adult i though if i would never fall in love...but that was wrong.

like now after 24 years old... my heart going blue... cos i have been in love...
hemmmm...love make me smile but also cry in the same time....
love make me fly and also fall in every time....

when the feel is grow my hearth going blue and pink

but i have to realize if someone will be hurt cos my love....

hem...
when i have strong in my heart to let him go and i have to hold that...he came again in my life and offer something new for me...:((

hemmmm but i have to be strong and i have to hold that..cos i believe if Allah have the best way for me and also the best soul match for me :) semangaddd

blue rainbow again

March 27...he again...when I think to let him and find out someone else who could be by my side...
And he come again...with the rainbow and a new story...
My frend asked about married and he anserd if all still a mistery...
He asked me to saw what was talking about...but I'm really confuse and not understandg about that...
I just think...ya 4WI why u make me to remember him when I try to let him go...
I just try to let him go with own live...even m heart still hurt...
But I believe I can let him go :)...
When I think about that Allah make him care about me and that make my self become weak to let him go...
Honestly..I'm still loving him, but I realize if a lot ofthink was barrier us...
Ya Allah ibelieve in your fate...so just give me the best :)...
Blue I hope I could sleep tight to night. Even I have something 2 think :)
Bismillah

blue will never chance

yaps this is life..life is full of surprising. people have own ideas, dreams and also life but GOD always have fate to us...

when we life with simple problems that is time for improve our self...when the problem become bigger that time for us to begging the best way to Allah....


problem is always problem if we never try to handle and solve that...but its may become the power of life if we look with heart and try to face all with smile, optimist and confident...


life is about become necessary for other. when we life but never take the best way...and never doing the best that means u are not think....

so keep believing keep smiling and faith if something best is waiting for... :)

hate like this

love where are u...my soul feel empty... don't know surly what's going on..
Love why u far from me... i haven't like this coz every thing is going crazy...
love please don't far from me... i really need U for shelter...
Allah i really Love you...i hate this feeling. when i must jealous with someone, in fact i have to jealous with u...

please hinder my heart for that love... i need the true love, when everything going clearly and no one could

make like this...

i really love him but i know if he love someone else, but my heart always tell the truth.. when i saw him with her i hate to feel like this...

i have to think clearly...

HE ISN'T LOVING YOU...SO STOP TO THINK ABOUT HIM...YOU ARE TO PRICELESS TO WASTE TIME FOR THINKING ABOUT HIM...MOVE ON AND DRAW THE LINE OF YOUR LIFE..U HAVE TO GLOWING AND LEAVE THE GIVING...

my heart became pink and blue

Today, I just feel nothg sure. I was saying all I need to say. With him. And I knew exactly what was happening.he was love me and I love him. That's the different. He was loving me @HS and I'm sure about the feeling now. I think we haven't became one, this is fate and we haven't to hidden from that...
Just look forword and goes in live.

Maybe always lope u...and happy to see u happy :d

my heart became pink and blue

Today, I just feel nothg sure. I was saying all I need to say. With him. And I knew exactly what was happening.he was love me and I love him. That's the different. He was loving me @HS and I'm sure about the feeling now. I think we haven't became one, this is fate and we haven't to hidden from that...
Just look forword and goes in live.

Maybe always lope u...and happy to see u happy :d

and his come again

I don't know what I have to say. Is it the dream which I have to make it true, or just I leave it..
Several day ago, my friend gave me advice to talk to some1 who I was adore, may be I have been adoring.. He said if I have to say to him what I was feeling to him. But honesly I idnt have power to say, I too ashame to say.
After last night. He come to my dream after I pray tahajud, I slept again-inspite that is a bad habbit.
In that dream I was in school. And also him, and because something I decided to tell him about my feeling. "May be u have been known if I have feeling for u or several time. That's feeling was maling when I knew from some1 if you like me too.
But I just want exactly, did u love me before.or that only my feeling to you. And he said, yes I have been loved you, but u haven't gave me any chance to proved that to u, when I want tell to you, u seem closed by some1. Coz of that, I tough u didn't like me and u like him. I told him, yeah that's me. I always close with any one as like u know. But I didn't know exactly what was I'm feeling that's time to you. But after I knew from other if u loved me,that's feelin more n more grow up in my heart. Even until now. That's make me suffer. I just wanna say that because u hv plan to merrie and I don't want our history make us unconfertable.I want step up and a cross a new live and I hope u too. I realy relize if you have some one who you love and i'm happy coz that even honesly sometg is missing, I feel.but I really honest if she the best for u.and u habe to make her happy.
And after I said that Iwent. Even the frend of his gf ungre to me and said If I the troule makker of her frend relation. But I just say if I just follow my heart to be a better live.
And I woke up with confuse feeling. I was confusing why I have to dream that, and have I do like the dreams done?, but I think I have to say that. I don't want live with shadow which make my life mess..
I'm make same little space in FB and hope at sunday I'll tell him the truth..for our best..bismillah ya 4wi..
If that the best way which I have take, give the easy way, but if another way is the best jt give that... Lope u 4WI...hope the best and wish the best..have nc dreams

when confuse has

Hemmm...it is coming again..the confuse has arise...

I have to think cleary...to plan all the things happen tomorrow...

Move to other place, and also move to. Save area.. Doing something new even my bodyfeel unwell...

I have to focus even other not thinking...

Ow really confuse rare...but I have to stay calm...and cool...

Bismillah ya 4WI my mighty god :) I really know if U always give the best for me...

fireworks

Hem...2011...people said if it is a new years. But I not celebration. Becouse my new years is muharam. Event that, Istill anjoy saw a fireworks...

Its alaways seem beautiful. When a clock saw 00.01 its means we in to the new time...

Like tonight, thefirework make the night beconme brighter...
Yellow, red, blue, orange, green, puple and so many colour was drawing in the sky...

I saw the firework at my grand family house..at the baleendah hill...

Wow I enjoy that :)...just thinking if I want to see the firework with my husband someday,,,I think that's romantic time :)...

At that time, the sky become blow...mesiu...a lot of color, smoke was bland and mix in to the sky...and that's was beautiful...

Firework..I always love :D